The assignments are out! Exciting stuff.

Dear Yuletide Santa!

I owe you my letter, I really do. Life is full of explosions in the sky at the moment, but check back in a couple of days? Very much love,

K

YULETIDE YAY

ALSO UNIVERSITY OMG

I MISS EVERYONE AND WISH I HAD TIME TO MISS YOU GUYS IN A MORE SUBSTANTIAL WAY

ellnyx: ASKLDJASLKDJLASKJD I should email you, so that, you know, TALKING, augh!

dnatio_memoriae: ALL YOU AUSTRALIANSSSS

not dead yet*


*but almost

IF I DO NOT APPEAR AROUND YULETIDE SIGNUPS, someone for the LOVE OF GOD poke me until I sign up, lest the work BURY ME ALIVE

new york what is wrong you with you BAMF of a city

oh university, give me my soul back

I know I've been very absent of late, and I apologise. D: Nothing big or bad has happened in the Real World, just that UNIVERSITY IS AN UNRELENTING INHUMANE BEAST, and sometimes I fail to even reply to my personal emails for days on end and imagine that only hours have passed. D: I MISS YOU ALL.

HOLY SHIT IT'S OVER 10,000.

Love meme! If you pity my undying soul, drop me a message? :D :D? ♥

Back to your regular transgressions transmissions now.

Many thanks to all of you guys who've emailed me asking if I'm alive. 8D I am alive, just swamped by a Brave New World^TM that hath such madness in it. The abbreviated version:

1. Humans are such complex and interesting creatures. Extrapolate this as you will!
2. Inherently, I am a bit of a coward - so that I get into these things is, in a way, hilarious.
3. I need new music.
4. Will be helping out with a MUN this weekend - fun, but also life-obliterating.
5. Went to the March for Equality in DC yesterday - 10 hours bus, 5 hours march, 15 hours awesome!
6. East Coast winters are going to kick my ass.
7. But not if I kick my wallet first and buy plenty of awesome clothes.
8. Still taking 6 courses; it's not the coursework that's killer.

I'll email back soon, promise! ♥ I'll even read my flist next weekend! D: D: D: D:

Remember that lie I told about life not eating me whole? :D :D :D

Be are be, guys; midterms + sudden abrupt invasion of life = K-fail. Any comments will still find my email, but if there's anything please do email because my ability to check my flist is inversely proportionate to the amount of LifeExplosion occurring at any given time of Now, Right Now.

8DDDD

Free time later tonight = writing later tonight. Going to be working on first real fic of the season, in addition to reading, and just hanging out - so hit me up with prompts that link backstory with location. Lame example #1: Tseng, and the giant grassy plains of Midgar.

Double points for using Larsa in anything! :D

Also, if any human beings are free to AIM/MSN, I will finally be responsive as opposed to comatose. D: :D!

My essay is done at last! afkjskkajlfsajf And the weekend is coming and BY GOD am I going to write fic if it kills me this time. I WILL. I WILL. I miss writing. D:

*________* I just watched 2 episodes of Dollhouse, after long self-denial. (Anyone else watching it?)

All I can say is, oh, Topher, your brain. You are a beautiful, evil man.

You know you're procrastinating when you watch TV in between classes on a day when you have both a paper due and a club meeting. Hooray!

Drabbletimes are the only way I know how. ;____; Alsowik, if anyone can link me to a pair of kickass boots (ALAS Y-3 why are you a) so expensive and b) so ugly this year??), I will love you forever.

May You Live

Final Fantasy VII. PG? Veld, to Vincent. Choose your own universe.

146 words. I love it when summaries are also instructions! 8D

( He stops, too; angry. 'Power changed you.' )

The point of a good thought, a good idea, a good concept is that it's supposed to stick in your head, isn't it? These days I'm surrounded by good ideas, but they don't so much fill my head as they do my heart, trickling into my fingers and bubbling warm in the valley just underneath my heart. I tell myself, I'll remember this one; I'll write it down tonight, but when my fingers touch the keyboard it all evaporates upwards, alcoholic and ethanoic.

A good idea may not stay; concepts are so fleeting and structural and turn-on-themselves-clever. But maybe a good idea fills, like colour or sex or magic, leaving you brimming - and without reason - until you think about it; then, ephemerally, it slips out of your fingers. There needs be some content to hold onto things, no matter how crude. A good idea is just a wind in the door.

WHICH IS A LONG WINDED WAY OF SAYING: K KEEPS FORGETTING TO WRITE SHIT DOWN, AND THEN IT'S 255AM AND SHE'S FORGOTTEN IT ALL, AND FIC, WHEN WILL YOU EVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

Quick poll of Natural Selection of Ideas, pick your favourite:

(1) Rumour mongering and myth building in Midgar (how they learnt that Rufus Shinra never cries)
(2) Nasdack!boys and their fashion senses/sense of fashion
(3) Mathematics and Mad Alice in Wonderland AU, Gundam Wing style (calculus in space, plus never keeping accurate time, plus inertia)
(4) Moist von Lipwig and perfect competition (assuming rationality)

;_________________;

( To-do lists get scarier by the week )

Good thing in life: I HAVE NEW CLOTHES?

GUYS NOT IN THE NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENT: I WILL BE ON AIM/MSN TONIGHT PLZ PLZ PLZ IF YOU ARE AROUND YOUR LOVING PRESENCE WILL BE MUCH CUDDLED. 8DDDDDDDD

Alsowik: Mafia game post will be up soon, promise!

[edit]

Alsoalsowik: if you've friended me lately or posted a comment lately and I haven't responded, I AM SO SORRY! Feel free to comment here and tell me to get my attention to where it belongs. :D


[edit 2]

Damn springkink:

Nov 10 - 14

- Final Fantasy VII, Reeve/Midgar: loss - He still dreamt about rebuilding her
- Julius Caesar, Brutus/Cassius: persuasion - "My friend."

I comfort myself with the knowledge that I won't be writing any of them. 8D

Japanese homework is useless but long! I have an essay brainstorm draft due tomorrow and I haven't thought about it at all screamface here. GUYS GUYS I LOVE UNIVERSITY IT IS LIKE MY HEAD IS ON FIRE ALL THE TIME.

Also, so much love for the comments yesterday. Should I keep posting my random brainthinkings?

• Been writing nasdack again; very fun!
  
• Not been writing anything else; very sad!
  
• Met up with hhertzof; very exciting!
  
• Been reading Darwin - the man is obsessed with pigeons. I know it's stylistic differences at play here, but when I read pigeons and fancier in the same line my brain just can't take the heat.
  
• Gilgamesh, oh Gilgamesh. Every time I read it I think of Ozymandias, for some strange reason.
  
• INTERESTING FIC THOUGHT: natural selection and... Turks?!
  
• I want to write so badly oh my god, workload, please let up.
  

I'm compiling a list of kickass theories and concepts that I'm reading about in class and tacking them up onto a wall. One day (soon) I'm going to sit myself down and just write something from it - there are so many interesting ideas, but I think I've honestly got a bit dumb over the last 9 months of sedentary motionlessness - true thought is coming slow as molasses, and I'm physically hurting when trying to get words of any sort (papers, fic, personal thoughts) out on paper. Things just seem so trite and repetitive - but look at the world! Look at the range of ideas! Surely here has to be something wrong with my senses, that they won't open up. I'm hoping they will - I know they will, but the wait is terrible.

I mean - just off the top of my head:

1. heroes and what they give up; how much they hurt and how much their hurt isn't even acknowledged even if they scream it to the skies. How much hurt a hero can do to others and how little hurt others can do to him, and how unfair that is. (It makes me want to write Sephiroth - dear Father, I never wanted to be perfect.)

2. the overwhelmingly slow and marvellous way in which human thought moves. How easily we convince ourselves of an order of the world and how eloquently this world can be supported, and how unbelievably focused, methodical and fanatically genius a single individual must be to change an era. (I can see the economics of Midgar shifting. Or Treize. Or Zechs.)

3. Occam's Razor suddenly makes sense again. The thought that the most elegant solution is the most likely one seems so naive - then you sit down and ask how instead of why and the world universe unwraps itself in subtle, complex physics. Just the sheer density of thought needed to be right is staggering; it isn't naive, it's old and wonderful magic. (ho ho ho nasdack ho ho ho)

4. friendship and its true form. Maybe we've made it cold; no letters, no speech, no endless gaps of space-time to prevent one of us from seeing another one of us. Yet some two people, every once in a while, survive all of that: not speaking, not touching, not seeing. It doesn't have to be sexual and it's even better if it isn't. It doesn't have to have reason and it's better if it doesn't. Then one of them goes/dies/surrenders/betrays the other and the whole world could fall apart along that one, singular axis. HOW VULNERABLE PEOPLE LET THEMSELVES BE. How strong you have to be to be that vulnerable!

5. once again, just surviving. It takes sustained genius which isn't called genius? It takes sustained commitment which isn't called passion? It takes not caring about reason. If people were really rational creatures, would any of us be alive??? The whole world is depressing and full of death - why do people try? Why do people burn? (Why would Lucifer?) (OR MOIST VON LIPWIG???)

Ajlksfjalfkl. Millions of theoretical bunnies running around, but they're waiting for some emotion to come fill them up. Writing without feeling feels like treason. Hopefully, one weekend, some great Emodom^TM will strike me. It's weird - writing is lonely and terrible when you have no ideas; you want people to ping off like pingpong balls. Then the moment something hits you, all you want to do is shut the world out so that you can write the world in. INSANITY. One day humanity will make sense!

One day K will not sleep at 1.26am on a weeknight!

[x] Finish J studies
[x] Write essay draft
[x] Read Demeter
[] Journal Demeter
[x] Pause to cry
[] Read Darwin
[] Pause to email
[] Write kickass nasdack

In between:

[x] Have lunch
[x] Have dinner

[edit] DONE SO MUCH RANDOM NONSENSE TODAY.

I can't have another;
I can't stop thinking of you.
If I can't have you
NOBODY CAN!
Nahhhhhhh naaaaaaaaaah naaaaaaaaah.

The sickness strikes! D: Was laid low by a sore throat and f(l)ailure today, so nothing got done. I still haven't read my flist in 5000 years, and am beginning to go a little bit crazy from it. dnatio_memoriae, ellnyx, perevision, &c., I MISS YOU GUYS LIKE INSANITY MISSES AN ASYLUM. D:

Being asleep gives one weird dreams, also, of people leading tinfoil worlds and the sustainability of things. This needs to get written down.

Hope everyone is doing good and is alive. ♥